Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Dating Guide – Go on a “Date” – Only if You Want to “Mate”

DATING – in a Nutshell

Are you thinking of “Dating” someone…?

Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate”

Yes – in a nutshell – that is my advice to you:

Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate” 

You don’t agree with me…?

Looks like you are “out of date” on “Dating”

Let me give you a “refresher course” on “Dating”….

DATING GUIDE
Romantic Musings
A Fictional Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE 

WHAT IS DATING…?

A “girl” asked me out on a date.

Since  I am “out of date” on “dating” – I decided to re-check the meaning of the term “dating”.

So – I Googled the word “Dating” – and the top hit was the Wikipedia Page on “Dating”.

Here is the definition of “Dating” from the Wikipedia Page on Dating (accessed on 07 March 2016):

Dating is a part of the human mating process  whereby  two people meet socially for companionship  beyond the level of friendship  or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. 

Later – there is an elaboration:

One of the main purposes of dating is for two or more people to evaluate one another’s suitability as a long term companion or spouse.

From the definition of “dating” above – I surmise that: 

The principal objective of “Dating” is – “to assess the suitability of the Dating Partner – for an “Intimate Relationship” – or as a Prospective Wife/Husband” 

The aim of “Dating” is to assess the suitability of the Dating Partner”: 

1. For an “Intimate Relationship” 

or 

2. As a Prospective Wife/Husband” 


So – in the light of the definition of dating – I reflected on the “moot question”:

“Should I accept the girl’s dating proposal and go out on a date with her...?”

Well – let me ruminate on the two salient aspects of the “dating definition: 


DATING FOR MARRIAGE

I am married.

In fact – I am “much married” for around 36 years to the same wife.

And – I do not intend to divorce my wife and marry the “girl” who has asked me out for a “date”.

Actually – even if I want to marry the “girl” – it may not be feasible – since my wife may not be very eager to divorce me.

So – why should I waste time and resources “assessing” the girl’s “suitability” as a “prospective wife” – when I know that marrying her is not possible.

Now – does the “girl” want to “date” me in order to assess my “suitability” as a “Prospective Husband”...? 

Well – you will have to ask her that. 


DATING FOR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP

I am married. 

And – I am a conservative prude. 

Yes – Dear Reader – I am a “Puritan” Prude

So  as far as having an extra-marital “intimate relationship” is concerned – the less said the better. 


CAN I GO ON A “DATE” WITH THE “GIRL”...? 

Now – let me come back to the “moot question”: 

A “girl” asked me out on a date

Should I accept the girl’s dating proposal...? 

Should I go out on a date with her...?”

As far as going on a “date” with the “girl” is concerned in light of the definition of dating – for me  both objectives of dating” don’t seem to be feasible – at least for me to achieve.

1. I cannot marry the girl – since I am already married (Legal Hurdle)

2. I am not inclined to have an intimate relationship” with the girl – owing to my conservative moral values (Ethical Hurdle)

So – with both options closed (marriage and intimate relationship– sadly – for me – the pleasure of “dating” is ruled out. 


CAN YOU TAKE YOUR SPOUSE ON A DATE...?  

Well – you may console me and say: 

“Why don’t you take your wife out on a date…?”

Come on – don’t be crazy.

Do you want me to assess the suitability of my own wife for an “intimate relationship” – after being married to her for 36 years…? 


“DATELESS” LIFE

So – “Dating” is ruled out for me – both inside marriage and outside marriage.

Yes – no intra-marital dating for me. 

And  no extra-marital dating for me. 

In fact – in my entire life  I have never had the experience of dating.

So – no “pre-marital” dating for me. 

I have had zero dates – “pre-marital”, intra-marital” or extra-marital” 

Yes – I have had a zero dating life.

And sadly – I am destined to live a “dateless” life. 


MORAL OF THE STORY 

Let me summarize and recap the 3 salient aspects of “Dating


1. “Dating is a part of the Human Mating Process

So – Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate”...


2. The principal objective of “Dating” is “to assess the suitability of the Dating Partner for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Wife/Husband...” 

So – Don’t “Date” someone unless you are considering having an “Intimate Relationship” with that person or are serious about marrying that person... 


3. Dating” your own Spouse is infructuous 

Do you want to assess the suitability of your own husband/wife for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Husband/Wife...?


AFTERTHOUGHT

Dear Prospective Girlfriends: 

All that I have written above is “theory”. 

I don’t practice what I preach. 

So – if you ask me out on a date” – I would be most delighted to accept your dating proposal. 

Come – shall we go out on a date”...?  

VIKRAM KARVE
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Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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